Hey, Crumbles…we need to talk.
When I first came up with the concept for Crumbs and Contour just about a year ago, my mission was to empower women to love their bodies from the inside out through the use of healthy recipes and easy make up tips. Sounds sweet and simple, right? It was, and I absolutely loved it, until something in my personal life suddenly and painfully derailed me, taking any and all inspiration for my food and beauty blog with it. Immediately, my love for food and cooking turned into struggling to nourish myself at all, and my love for beauty was reduced to just the bare minimum make up needed to disguise the pain in my eyes. I found myself no longer able to empower women to love their bodies because I had lost the desire to love and care for my own. But, in sharing my story with other women, I quickly learned that I was not nearly the only one who had gone through what I was going through…and slowly, a new idea for Crumbs and Contour formed.
If we’re being real honest, the natural chismosa (aka Latina gossip queen) in me wants to scream out from the mountain tops and summon you all to gather around while I tell you a story of infidelity that one could truly only find in a Spanish novela. It is shocking as it is entertaining. It’s garnered gasps, laughs, outrage and fury from all the women I’ve shared it with, swiftly uniting us in a heartbreaking, yet powerful way. And because one of my goals for this site is to be transparent about who I am, I want so badly to share in-depth the events that catapulted me into this journey towards self-love in the first place. However, for the sake of time and decorum (and because I might be saving it for a future New York Times Best Seller), I’ll just say that my partner of many years was revealed to have been profoundly and gut-wrenchingly unfaithful in a relationship that was my greatest treasure. It was a soul-crushing, lonely, and downright debilitating loss, but I found solace in my close group of girlfriends and have slowly been picking up the pieces to get back to myself again.
And that’s what I want to share with you.
As women, we’ve all gone through something that has absolutely knocked the wind out of us. We’ve all experienced a crushing loss that felt nearly impossible to come back from. We’ve all been hurt, shattered, and have struggled to get through the day with a smile on our face when deep down we are running on empty. We have all felt drained of self-love and seemingly incapable of self-care. But eventually, we pick up the pieces. And although the ways in which we do so are unique to each of us, I want to use this platform to share my journey of how I am choosing to pick up my pieces and restocking on self-love in hopes that it might help those of you who are feeling a little broken, too. As the late, great, and hands-down #1 person in my life Michael Jackson once said, “You are not alone, for I am here with you…” (He also calls someone a vegetable over and over again in “Wanna be Startin’ Something,” but that’s a different Crumbs and Contour post for a different day).
So, for now, Crumbs and Contour is going to be getting a little bit of a facelift. Instead of posting carefully crafted recipes and structured beauty posts, I will be checking in periodically with the different ways in which I am learning to pick up my pieces. For those of you who are on the same journey to self-love as I am, I have books I want to share with you, quotes I need to say, and self-care tips we should all be implementing. Food and beauty will still be involved, but for now they will no longer be the only subjects I’ll focus on. Some posts might highlight a new way in which I practiced self-love that day or week, others might focus on the inner dialogues I had that helped me continue moving forward. Some may be motivational, others might be more raw and vulnerable, but every post will be made with the intention of helping you and I be the best we can to ourselves during the toughest times. And I strongly encourage those of you who see a little bit of yourself in each post to reach out and continue the dialogue, so that we eventually grow into a community of women uplifting and empowering each other all while loving ourselves a little harder.
Phew. That was a lot. But it feels so good to be back and I truly can’t wait to see where this new journey takes us. For now, it’s almost midnight on the East Coast, which means it’s time for me to snuggle up with my pup and a warm mug of lavender chamomile tea (self-care x2), and brainstorm all the things we have yet to talk about. Until then, just remember:
“I changed what I could. And what I couldn’t, I endured.” – Dorothy Johnson Vaughan